Last Step of Mindfulness…Effectiveness

Effectiveness is the last step in our mindfulness chapter. This is putting into play all the other Mindfulness elements.

1. Observe

2. Describe

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3. Participate

4. Reserving Judgement

5. Mindful In the Moment

6. Effectiveness

Effectiveness is when you “focus on what works”. (handout 3)

We acknowledge what reality is, whether we like it or not, and do just what is needed in each moment.

Remember to stay in the current moment and not moments we would like to be in or that we should be in.

It is what it is. Now do what you can do in that moment.

If strong feelings try to come into that moment let them go..like a train going down a track. Don’t jump on the train.

Reserve your judgement anddon’t cut off your nose to spite your face by judging your own judging“.(handout 3)

Keep your eye on the ball and go for it.

 

Practice:

MINDFULNESS IN THE HERE AND NOW

 

~Wishing You Well My Friends

The Mindful Gatekeeper

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Becoming One Mindful

Now that you can identify your judgemental thoughts you will be able to let them go with more ease. You will be able to Observe with more clarity and let opinions and emotional judgement go by like train cars on a track. Remember we don’t want to make a judgement when we Observe. We just want to SEE.

This is my favorite section of Mindfulness…becoming Mindful In The Moment.

In my life prior to learning Mindfulness I did this..but without understanding that it was skill and a salve to my soul.

Now you are ready to learn this wonderful and effective action to help usher more peace into your life.

This exercise is about slowing life down..the way we do in Observe. We just watch what is around us as we are doing it… moment by moment.

The first time I tried Mindful In The Moment  I was sitting in a chair looking out the window. The sky was blue and azure..the clouds partially blended in with the pale blue of the sky. Big white fluffy billows hung in soft puffs here and there throughout the heavens in my sight. When my thoughts wandered I brought myself back to that lovely view and stayed with it as long as I could. I just looked at the sky. That is all. I became in my mind a part of the sky.

*Do one thing at a time. When you are eating, eat. When you are walking, walk. When you are bathing, bathe. When you are working, work. When you are in a group, or a conversation, focus your attention on the very moment you are in with the other person. When you are thinking, think. When you are worrying, worry. When you are planning, plan. When you are remembering, remember. Do each thing with all of your attention. (Mindfulness handout 3)

*If other actions, or thoughts, or strong feelings distract you, LET GO OF DISTRACTIONS and go back to what you are doing again and again and again…(Mindfulness handout 3)

*CONCENTRATE YOUR MIND. If you find you are doing two things at once, stop and go back to one thing at a time. (Mindfulness handout 3)

Practicing this very effective skill can bring much peace.

Most time I use it for stress relief. But like stated above it can be used when looking at things you aren’t so comfortable with..like worrying. Worry can be done with Mindfulness. Just set the timer and worry..and do what the handouts say above…keep coming back to the worry when you are distracted to stop. In my class they said worry or ruminate for 30 minutes. When the 30 minutes are over let the rumminations go and go back to your day. Life isn’t always comfortable but it can be more peaceful even in the storms. It is up to you.

One Mindful In The Moment is living fully in each moment..in each action. When we allow ourselves this blessing our life becomes more meaningful.

~Wishing you peace on this day

The Mindful Gatekeeper

A Few Words…

Now my friends we will continuing on with general Mindfulness skills…but first a few words.

I want to wrap up our conversation on cognitive thinking errors. Every person is different. Some people may have milder forms of these distortions and can learn how to deal with them on their own. But for those who feel plagued by them I highly encourage you to get support from a professional. Believe me your life changes for the better. Like I have said before getting support is a form a strength. Burdens are much lighter and it changes how you think of yourself. Life becomes easier to  manage and quite frankly more joyful. It helps to live realistically. Learning to accept reality for what it is and being okay with that reality just encourages peace.

No one is saying that you have to like your reality. The way we change our life is by accepting where we are in life first. It is what it is and now I can relax..is what I say. Then you go from there. Then you make change. Sometimes we don’t know how to accept because life is very painful and we can’t look at the truth without serious distress. If you are in an abusive setting causing you distress the best thing to do is to get out as soon as possible..don’t stay in that kind of situation. Otherwise if you are in pain due to life’s events or a possibly substance abuse or chemical imbalance then admitting you need some help is accepting the truth and very healthy. It’s not so scary. The people are there to help while becoming safe and trusted sources that you can share your thoughts with…even if your thoughts seem overwhelming or uncomfortable. If your willing to help yourself you will find more peace.

~Wishing you well today

The Mindful Gatekeeper

Reserving Judgement…Over Generalization

Over Generalization  is when a person sees a single negative event as a never-ending pattern.

If you have a date and it doesn’t work into a relationship you may say” I will never find the right person for myself..I will never get married”.

Or

This person is ignoring me. They always ignore me. I will never be heard“.

I didn’t get the job. I never get the job I want“.

In this case look at the facts then add a cheerleading statement behind it.

Okay so the date didn’t work out. I can always try again“.

Or

This person seems to be preoccupied. Maybe I can come back at another time and ask. It’ s great that I can see the truth here and let this moment just be what it is and not worry anymore”.

“So I didn’t get the job this time. But I am going to keep trying and eventually I know I will find a job I enjoy”.

~Wishing you well this day

The Mindful Gatekeeper

Reserving Judgement…Foretuneteller Error

This is a very universal distortion.

The fortune-teller error occurs when we negatively  pre-judge/predict  a situation before it happens.

” I just know that so and so is not going to like me”.

” I will never get that job”.

“Mark my words I will not pass that exam even after all the studying I have done”.

All these thoughts do is to upset your peace.

Try to look at the facts first to help ground you in the truth. The truth is something you must search for ,at times, with your Reasonable Mind. Identify your emotions and then take action like making a pros and cons list to help you see clearly.

~Wishing you well this day

The Mindful Gatekeeper